True Story

About this time of year in 1994, I went to the local BP gas station by the railroad tracks, to fill up the gas tank and get some tasty snacks. When I went to the counter, there was a man in front of me. He looked rough. His flannel shirt and jeans were torn and stained and he smelled really bad, his matted long hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and his boots looked like they’d walked a thousand miles. He asked the clerk for a pack of smokes. She handed him the Marlboro reds, and he grabbed a lighter from the rack then turned around and walked out without paying. The clerk started yelling at him as I stood there with a bag of chips and twenty dollar bill in hand. He never turned around, he just walked out the door packing his free smokes with a steady rhythm. A manager came out and started out after him, but before he could catch up with the man, he put a smoke between his lips, flipped the switch on the gas pump, held the nozzle over his head and doused himself with gallons upon gallons of gas. He slowly raised his hand in which he held the lighter and acted like he was gonna light his smoke. The manager stopped fast and ran back inside. He picked up the phone, dialed 911, and started relaying the events of the past minute in an understandably panicked voice. The clerk, though shaken, managed to complete my transaction and I walked over to the window. I didn’t have the guts to just walk out there while the potentially explosive figure stood by my car with the lighter in his hand, so I stood there gawking while the employees scurried and yelled about the potential disaster. He stood there watching us. After a few minutes, I heard the police coming. The gas-soaked man turned around and ran full speed across the street to the Catholic Church, opened the doors and disappeared inside. Since my safety was no longer an issue, I left. There was nothing left to see. Later, I heard that he had a nice talk about life with the priest before being arrested and hauled away.

I’m thankful I’m not that guy.

Happy Thanksgiving!